Mental Stability
Equanimity is the ability to maintain mental calmness, composure, and evenness of temper, especially in challenging times. Equanimity is a direct result of non-attachment. True non-attachment is not a separation from life experiences and relationships but an openness to explore all aspects of our human being-ness. We experience the world as trustworthy and friendly because we don't depend on worldly materialism for inner tranquility. For example, we stabilize the excitement of a new home, the ideal job, or a goal accomplished with the roundedness of gratitude.
Too much attachment to material possessions for our emotional and mental stability will only lead to anguish. When we are too attached to an object, goal, belief, dream, or another person, there is a sense that we won’t be whole without the object of attachment. We compensate for this experience of incompletion by pumping up a false sense of self-importance (arrogance).
Growing in healthy non-attachment we feel whole and able to flow with whatever is happening internally and externally. We posses a peaceful, magical, and uplifting mind-set, despite uncertainty. The first step to developing equanimity is seeing all the ways that we get caught in reactivity. Reactivity is the quality of being reactive to either psychological or emotional stress. Often we blame reactivity on others- "he made me feel this way because he did this or that." We can be reactive to the material of our subconscious and judge, blame, shame, our self as well.
Re-focus attention from the source of reactivity to the quietude and openness within. This simple proactive internal shift of attention directly impacts our external reactions. We no longer micromanage or control reactivity. In the immediacy of recognition, all reactivity dissolves like the flight path of a bird, leaving nothing behind. WORDS of CAUTION: Beware of trying to fit into a concept of non-attachment; producing a copy of equanimity puts distance between you and the truth of it. Indifference, aloofness, rigidity, or complacency may look like equanimity but they are not. Earned knowledge from the ground floor up knows it’s a thin line between confidence and arrogance.
A second step to developing equanimity is to embrace interdependency. All of our accomplishments, small and large, are the result of our concentrated effort, interdependency, and the laws of cause and effect. Accomplishments therefore evoke gratitude for all those who made the good fortune possible. Gratitude transforms arrogance and pride into levels and levels of heart and confidence. When we are confident we are in equanimity toward all living beings, including animals.
The third step towards developing equanimity is to listen without defensiveness, resentment, or bitterness. Listen for where there is sameness, areas of commonality, and a shared humanity. When we are present and listen without self-referencing we see beyond the surface and enjoy multiple levels of a person. It's usually best to focus upon our own peace of mind rather than fixating on others’ unhappiness. Once equanimity is recognized and activated, it deepens. Bit by bit, equanimity is strengthened each and every time we shift our focus to it. Eventually, we wholly trust the knowing of it. This direct knowledge is the wisdom of equanimity.
